Sunday, June 25, 2006
12:55 AM
I'm confused.
For the past two days, I was having seriously bad mood swings. At one moment I was estatic and in a split second I was extremely moody. It's like, I couldn't careless for anything anymore and I just wanted to wallow into emoness and drown myself. Nowadays I could listen to ONE freaking emo song over and over and over again for one whole day and never get bored of it.
There's something wrong.
But I just couldn't point out what.
I wanna cry. But crying without a reason is just plain dumb.
Nonetheless, I can't deny it IS a very helpful therapy.
Why can't I be happy??
I mean, I am happy, aren't I??
I don't know. Cuz when I've convinced myself that I am, a part of me in my brain is nagging me saying that I'm not.
What do I really want??
I don't know.
Somehow or rather, life's dry and meaningless for the time being.
WHAT'S WRONG??
For the past two days, I was having seriously bad mood swings. At one moment I was estatic and in a split second I was extremely moody. It's like, I couldn't careless for anything anymore and I just wanted to wallow into emoness and drown myself. Nowadays I could listen to ONE freaking emo song over and over and over again for one whole day and never get bored of it.
There's something wrong.
But I just couldn't point out what.
I wanna cry. But crying without a reason is just plain dumb.
Nonetheless, I can't deny it IS a very helpful therapy.
Why can't I be happy??
I mean, I am happy, aren't I??
I don't know. Cuz when I've convinced myself that I am, a part of me in my brain is nagging me saying that I'm not.
What do I really want??
I don't know.
Somehow or rather, life's dry and meaningless for the time being.
WHAT'S WRONG??
Sometimes I wish that I could just leave. LEAVE and not think bout anything else. Leave without a burden. Leave all the stress behind.
But I know I can't.
And I'd never will.
i've got soul but i'm not a soldier
